Funeral for the Five-Paragraph Essay

Friends, Romans, 8th graders, lend me your eyes…and common sense. From a young age, adults instruct us not to hate. Yet, some things affect us so deeply that we are challenged to find the words to adequately define it. The word hate rises from the steam of our boiling blood and is exhaled in one hot breath and explodes.

The term five-paragraph essay boils my blood.

Taught at the younger levels to help children see the parts of a composition as one sees a hamburger, it does little to draw adolescents any closer to the real-world writing they need in their lives.  The five paragraph concept was developed by a teacher over fifty years ago and has lingered over many decades for two reasons: it is easy to teach a part-part-whole structure, and it is easy to grade.

I’ll agree that breaking things down into parts is an effective teaching method. The method carried me through a coaching career that started in middle school, moved to high school, and then through college. I succeeded teaching young men to play a specific position by breaking everything down into parts every day long before the larger plan was executed.

However, the time comes for people to move on from the parts. Entering the 8th grade, students should be challenged to no longer lean on the five-paragraph essay because it will do more harm than good to their writing. Too often, students come in being trained to ask how many words or how many paragraphs they need to write. Focusing on the number of words or paragraphs one needs to write does little to make someone think about and develop their writing.

Five paragraph essays can both constrain writing and dilute writing. What if I can express my point, powerfully, in two hundred and fifty words? Writing an additional two hundred and fifty does not guarantee any deeper thinking--more words does not equal more meaning. Conversely, what if my chosen topic is focused and vast? What if five paragraphs just isn’t enough to allow me to find meaning, make connections, and show the reader why something matters? Sometimes, the restrictions we build as teachers can prune a student’s potential too closely to the bud.

Young writers need the skills for deeper revision. Focusing on the numbers (words or paragraphs) drives writers to worry about milestones, not message.  Good writing is not incumbent on hitting five hundred-words or any other marker. Yet, some adolescents remain distracted by these markers.

I would rather read two hundred words that says something.

I would rather read eight thousand words that says something.

So, I apologize to you if you came here expecting me to praise Caesar, not bury him. You will not find any trace of the five-paragraph essay out there in the real world or in my classroom, for the five paragraph essay is dead.

Preparing a Draft for English Journal

While crafting my portion of a collaborative draft for English Journal, I asked for student feedback to help guide my writing. As part of a team of five contributors to an article, I have taken on the theme of teachers positioning themselves as writers for the benefit of one's pedagogy.

So, I asked my students for honest, written feedback through the following prompt:

What difference(s) or effect(s) does it have when you see me as a writer?

The following 8th grade student feedback is in their own words, spelling, and punctuation. I don't include it as a gratuitous reflection of me, but as the support and value of teachers bringing writing into their personal and professional lives. Any I did not copy into the document were almost verbatim repeats. Our of 125 students I had one who gave me what I would consider negative feedback (and something I need to follow-up on) when he/she wrote, "I do not feel I have improved as a writer."

The word cloud reflects the common words that the students used the most. The words beginning to stand out to me are comfortable, encouraged, and like. So many began a thought with "I like"...

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• When I see you as a writer, I feel as though you are connected with me as a writer better as well as a student. (JC)
• Your writing has affected me because it has made realize that good writing doesn't have to come from a published author. Also, it takes time and effort to develop a well-written essay or piece. Your writing allows us to see who you are and in a way lets us in your life. It helps keep the idea of you being our mentor. (SJ)
• When I see you as a writer it works. It works because I can come to ask you questions and it is easier to ask you. (MW)
• I believe that seeing you as a writer has a great effect on me. It makes me feel like you're going to be completely honest with your feedback for me.
• When I see you as a writer it's easier to understand how I can become a better writer...I hear what sounds good and it's just easier and there's less pressure. (DH)
• When you be a writer with us it makes it seem like arent judjmental. (CK)
• I like it that you show us your writing. I see the way you have combined words to make it sound really neat, and I try to remember that to use it in my own writing. It also makes me feel more connected, like you are not just another teacher in my life, but a fellow writer. (Anonymous)
• I like the fact that you are not only our teacher, but a writing mentor. It makes me feel like you aren't just saying what's wrong or right because we all have a style. (ES)
• It makes me want to learn from you more and makes me want to write like you. (MD)
• When I see you as a writer it soothes me. (Anonymous)
• I think it would impact me more if you shared some of your novel. (NW)
• Seeing you as a writer actually makes me more comfortable sharing and writing on my blog. It inspires me to try. Try harder and maybe even step outside my comfort zone sometimes. (EM)
• It makes me more comfortable sharing my writing because I don't view you as someone who will judge me, but more as someone who will help me grow. (Anna)
• 2nd period feels more like a connected, close-knit group where we can share or bring up anything. (Anonymous)
• When I see you as a writer your so deep and in the zone kind of. When you read your writing I like I know what/who/where your talking about. (IU)
• It gives me lots of emotion. It gives me lots of encouragement to keep going with my writing. (AA)
• It makes me feel connected because when we write in our notebooks, you write, too. (HB)
• I feel inspired by you as a writer and I really like that you are very involved with us when we are writing...makes me feel comfortable, like you care that we become successful. (MC)
• I see you write, often, in class, and when I see the final product I am inspired to write more.
• I feel that it lets me be connected to you on a more personal level. I would feel more comfortable talking writer to writer rather than writer to teacher for feedback... (Ryan)
• Seeing you as a writer makes me see that this isn't just your job, but that it is your passion (DK)
• Seeing you as a writer has effected me in a positive way...It allows me to be connected with you and improve my own writing through yours. (LEJ)
• The effect of your teaching has encouraged me to write things I have never written before. Also encouraged me to dig deeper in my thoughts. (V.V.)
• I like it when you share your pieces because I feel like since I know who you are I can be more connected to class. I like seeing your work. (C.A.)
• I learn by experience and visuals. It's like we're reaching for the same goal, to become a better writer, all together. (S.P.)
• I have more appreciation for writing in general and it also makes me look deeper into my own writing. I would also make me more comfortable with confrencing with you about my writing. (M.B.)
• You make everyone in the class feel like they're the students and you are too. (C.Y.)
• It makes me feel like I have the ability to become a great writer someday. (E.S.)
• I feel like you actually know how to write and how the little things can change your writing (Leah)
• You effect me by making me feel as if we are all the same level of writer. (KL)
• It's easier for me to figure out what the assignment is and what the expectations are (S.P)
• It makes me feel more like you understand writing and it is as or more important to you as it is to me. (RL)
• It helps me see what is important to you and what some of your thoughts are. (HN)
• I think that seeing you as a writer encourages us, since it shows us how good of a writer we can be if we practice. (BN)
• I truly think it helps. It creates a stronger student vs. teacher bond. (Alex)
• Well, you give me inspiration on how I should write my own things. (MK)
• It gives me greater confidence. (DL)
• (it) encourages me to write more interesting and detailed sentences. (FH)
• I think that it helps me because it makes me more comfortable to write honestly. (Melissa)
• I feel encouraged about writing and read more. (ZH)
• I think it has encouraged us to write more openly. I think seeing you as writer, a person, that is honest and is comfortable with showing something more personal, helps us feel more comfortable. (Ethan)
• It's nice that you try to connect with us, most teachers don't, but it just is what it is. (KG)
• I already have respect for you because you're my teacher and all, but when you share your writing and things with us it gives me so much more. It's nice to know that you actually want to share it with us. (Maddie)
• I feel like you are a part of the class when you write with us. (JL)
• When you write with us it shows us that you are experienced and that you care. (MC)
• It is easier to ask someone questions when they are a writer, not a teacher. (SS)
• When you are a writer, it makes me feel connected with someone who writes. (BK)
• Having you as a writer feels very supportive. (MS)

Podcast: A Boy's Life - Episode 2

The second episode, The Boxer, of my (experimental) podcast A Boy's Life is now available for download. My intentions are two-fold. First, working on a monthly podcast is giving me a better handle on what I can realistically expect from an 8th grade student--producing a podcast is not easy. Second, it gives me someplace to revise and publish many short pieces I have written about my adolescence.

This episode is about the fighting and violence I was exposed to on regular basis from about 6th grade through my Junior year of high school. Fighting was just a matter of life. Behind the narratives are the decisions we made as kids--to start a fight, fight back, to stand and take it, or to run. It has been interesting to look back at that social order taking shape--in some respects, aspects of it were really quite dangerous and threatening.

As far as the technical side of podcasting is concerned, I have learned just how deliberate sound is. My struggles run the gamut from decisions on music (how much; when do I lead it in; when do I fade it out) to creating an easy delivery--trying to sound conversational while reading from a script does not come naturally.

Writing for sound is also a very different animal. While composing this episode, I found myself writing in two voices--the style I have come to develop as a writers, and the persona (a work in progress) who comes out as a reader. Suddenly, my voice takes on an edge and my old speech patterns from those days returns.

The music has become one of my favorite parts of writing and producing the podcast...and it isn't even mine. National Writing Project Fellow, and friend, Ben Smith is a young, brilliant musician. He teaches high school English by day, and must spend a large portion of his other life immersed in music. I enjoy his style and voice, and had to laugh when he suggested his song "I Recognize Your Fist" as the music for this episode.

Use the link below to access a direct link to it:
A Boy's Life: Episode Two - The Boxer

Or subscribe to get each monthly episode through iTunes
A Boy's Life Podcast (iTunes)